Excommunication & Shunning

Wow! This is such a touchy and controversial subject! There are about as many opinions about this as there are people who are experiencing it. So I will attempt to share my view, although I have to say it is a very emotional topic.

First, I would like to say that neither of these words actually show up in the KJV Bible, which albeit in German is the one the Amish use. The word shunned is used in Acts 20:27 and 2 Timothy 2:16 but neither excommunication or shunning are found.
Second, I am not going to get into all the theological mumbo jumbo of this subject, but I will share my experience. I became a member of the Amish church when I was 18. I left 5 years later when I was 23. As is the custom I was paid several visits by the Bishops (the one in the church I currently attended and the one who baptized me), the ministers and deacon. It is their duty to go talk to one who as they see it is erring in their ways. They came to talk to me and to try to explain to me where and why I was wrong. I respectfully listened and thanked them, but told them when they left to do whatever it was they needed to do. I was not coming back. I later received a letter that told me I had been excommunicated. How I am treated depends on where I go, who else is there when I go, and I must say my mindset and attitude has had a lot to do with how I have been treated. See sometimes those of us who leave, because we feel God has enlightened us and we have received Jesus as our personal Savior, feel the need to prove we are right and they are wrong and we try to play the Holy Spirit in their life which is something God never intended for us to do.
Many of us who have left the Amish left for many different reasons. I was one of those people who never allowed myself to consider leaving because I didn't want to go to hell and I was a school teacher after all so I had influence over the young people in our community. Going to hell is what they teach will happen if you leave the church, because they believe it is belonging to the church that keeps you connected to and right with God. I loved God and I wanted to live a life that honored God. I didn't understand how all of the things we were taught to do or not to do had anything to do with actually honoring Him, but I didn't question. Well, at least not most of the time. When I did ask questions I was always told it is the way it has always been and we are not to question it.
So here is where I am sure I will stir some and they will whole-heartedly disagree with me, but that's OK. Philippians 2 talks to us about working out our own salvation with fear and trembling, in other words be convinced in your own mind that what you believe is true, but realize it is God which works in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. The Amish believe in God. The Amish believe in Jesus Christ as being crucified for the forgiveness of sins. Their error is thinking they can force people to live a life that honors God by creating a bunch of rules to keep people in line. Their second error is believing that it is what they wear and what they have or don't have that separates them from the world. Where they miss it is living a life that truly honors our Father in heaven is a matter of the heart and not the outward. Where they miss it is realizing if the matters of the heart are taken care of the outward follows. God is a spirit and they that worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth. John 4:23-24
So the thing everyone needs to understand is what they believe they sincerely believe to be the gospel. They can't always give an explanation to why they believe what they do, just that it is what they have been taught to believe. I truly believe the only way to reach and lead someone to a knowledge of the truth, especially someone who loves God, believes in God, believes in Jesus Christ as the One who came to earth and was crucified for us is through love. For a works based religion it is very difficult to grasp the fact that salvation is a free gift and there is nothing you can do to earn it. They need to see the love of Jesus shining in us by how we treat each other and then by how we treat them. Our mission is to love and to be loved. Love is the source and reason behind everything God is and God does. Jesus never condemned or pointed out the wrong (unless you were a high-minded, spiritually proud Pharisee or Sadducee) but always in love pointed people to the right path. This is the way, walk ye in it. Now go and sin no more. I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life and no one comes to the Father but by me. These were His instructions when an act of sin even one listed in the Ten Commandments such as do not commit adultery was brought to His attention.
In conclusion, my experience and what my Father in heaven has taught me is...it is not my responsibility to convince anyone what they should believe, but that each one needs to be convinced in their own mind what they believe is true. I have also learned that because it is our commission to go and make disciples of all men that we need to share the truth of God's Word as He leads us and directs us to do so, but I have found that is done more with how I live then what I try to share with someone. Our first commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, and strength and the second is to love our neighbor as myself. We were created to be loved and to love. It is what every soul longs for...to be loved.

Even after almost 19 years since I left, I still experience shunning and excommunication from my family when I go visit. I have to say I experience it to a much lesser degree than most. One of the ways they let me know I am not considered a part of the family anymore is I do not hear from my family at all unless there is a death in the family usually someone who is in the immediate family such as a grandparent (which all of my grandparents are now deceased), aunt, uncle, etc. I do not receive invitations to any family gatherings or functions including weddings. So yes I do still experience the excommunication and shunning practiced by my culture. To be completely honest things may be different today if I had the same mindset when I first left as I do today. Unfortunately I had a lot to learn. When I first left I was in full defense mode and I took down or at least tried to take down everyone who tried to convince me the road I was on was the wrong one. In other words I tried to convince those who tried to save this black sheep from total damnation as they saw it that I had found the truth and if they would just listen they would see it too. Well, you see when people are blind, they can't see. And furthermore only God can cause the blind to see, not Barbara. Well, I admit I tried to make my family see and not always in the most graceious of ways and the result was alienation and not restored relationships. Even though none of my siblings ever speak to me or want anything to do with me, I do still get to go see my parents and they love my daughters like they are their grandchildren for which I am thankful. I pray every day for restoration of relationships with my family, but I don't try to force them to see...that I will leave to the Holy Spirit. Only a God so loving as ours knows what it will take and at what moment someone will choose to surrender their lives completely and totally to Him. And at best all I can do is love and cherish every moment I get with my parents and pray there will be a day when my family will all be together again in unity and harmony.

In summary I have determined that loving and praying and living what I believe is much more powerful than trying to defend, convince and prove that I am right and they are wrong! Love! Is there anything greater on this planet? True, genuine, unconditional love?!! It's what we are called to, were created for, and what we all long for, but how many of us live there? I ask God every day to help me love as He loves, as He has called us to love, first Him and then people. What if we all lived like today was our last day? We are not promised tomorrow! What an impact would we have on the world around us? God is present and evident everywhere. Are we aware of His presence? Do we spend time in His presence? Are we more concerned with what is on God's agenda for our day than our own or do we have our life all planned and any deviation is not optional? Yes, challenging questions, I know, but ones we must all answer or they will be answered for us only we may not like the results.

Excommunication and shunning is very real, it is for most very painful, and although we hear it a lot in reference to the Amish and those who leave it happens in many other cultures and religions as well. It is a practice that we will not change, it is a core belief for most who practice it. Our mission should be to love those who persecute us, because an encounter, a true love encounter with Jesus Christ is the only thing that will change a belief or a hard heart, or open a blind eye and allow them to see. Our mission...to LOVE because LOVE conquers all and only One greater than us can reveal what that LOVE looks like!