Divorce! How Do I Tell My Parents?!!

Wow! So how do you deal with telling your parents who are Amish that you are getting a divorce? This is something that has become a reality for me. So I made the decision to write my parents a letter to let them know of my impending divorce, because I did not want them to find out from someone else. Needless to say, it did not go over well as was indicated by the short response scribbled inside my Christmas card by my mother. I did respond to her note with another letter. I never heard back from her again. That was 6 months ago.
Bottom line, the Amish do not believe in divorce under any circumstances. The truth is, as a Christian, I don't believe in divorce either. I believe if there are two people who love God and choose to live on the path of love and forgiveness at all times, there should never be a need to even think about divorce. Unfortunately, the key is two people who both choose to live on this path. When one person won't and chooses to walk away, there is absolutely nothing you can do except watch them go, pray for them, and know their choices are between them and God and they will have to face their choices one day. Today is just not that day so they walk away thinking they are getting away with it.
So all of the things my mother wrote to me I don't disagree with, but the part she doesn't get is divorce is not something I chose. My ex-husband chose to leave rather than deal with the demons inside and fight to overcome whatever was tearing us apart. No, he took the coward's way out and walked away, telling himself I was the problem and I was not worth fighting for. How do I explain this to my parents? None of this matters to them. Divorce is never an option. Period.
So I am going home to visit them in a week for the first time in over a year and a half and for the first time since letting them know about my upcoming divorce. I go because I love my parents and my daughters love their grandparents. And in their own way they love me and they love my girls; however, I am not looking forward to the conversations that will be inevitable. There are no words that will help them understand. There will be no defense that will cause them to somehow miraculously have compassion. No, their beliefs do not allow them to have compassion and love for me during one of the most difficult times in my life. Instead, there will be lots of condemnation and reinforcement of the failure I am and the disgrace I am to the family.
So while I have no doubt that no matter where you come from divorce is not easy for any family to accept. When their daughter tells them she is getting a divorce I am sure there is disappointment, probably anger, grief, and any other emotion you might imagine, but in many cases there will still be the love and support for you, their daughter. That is not going to be the case in my case.
Wouldn't it just be easier to stay away and not go visit knowing what is in store? Well, while it would certainly be easier, it would not bring forth it's intended purpose for life and that would be to love at all times and in all circumstances. They are my parents. I love them and as long as they are alive I will go see them and take my girls to visit their grandparents. I understand there is nothing I can do or say to change their mind, but God can. So I won't try to fix it, defend it, or explain it. I will allow God to send the Holy Spirit to show them if they will open their eyes. I will pray a lot and then I will love them as best as I know how and hope for the best!
The truth is I am not going to change the Amish, their beliefs, or how they choose to treat their own should they choose a different path for their lives. I am already excommunicated and shunned so what more can they do? Nothing that will hurt any more. Although I don't agree with their reasoning, I have received God's healing and that is what helps me to get through whatever they want to dish out, because I understand why they do what they do.

So pray for peace and love to be present on my visit with my parents and any other family that may show up while we are there.

Bountiful Blessings,
Barbara