The Outsiders

Did any of you see the show on ABC Primetime last Tuesday called "The Outsiders"? I am not sure what you thought about the show, but when I got done watching it I felt extremely sad and I felt this for so many reasons. First about the extreme blindness of the elders and their quiet resolve to the belief they have no other choice than to be Amish. The acceptance of the elders that their young people rebel against the rules of the church during a certain period before making the commitment to the church. After all they did things like this before they committed to the church when they were young so that makes it OK for the young people of today the same. He even had a car when he was young. When you look at the ways the young people from about age 15 or 16 until they actually decide to return and join and become a member of the church rebel, it is not just minor things. There is under age drinking, fornication, and in the case of Danny Troyer even hate crimes. Hate crimes and he said, "We just wanted to have some fun." "FUN?!" What has happened in a young man's life that would cause him to call burning someone's property fun? One thing about the show I believe it was more accurate than most documentaries that have been done about the Amish and I give ABC a lot of credit for this. So many times if they actually talk to the Amish about something, they are presented with the ideal world of what the Amish are and how they live. Most of the time this varies quite drastically from the truth, because they never share the whole story. The reason I think I was so sad is because these young people are seeking freedom, but the problem is they have no idea what they are seeking freedom from. They want to be free to be their own person, they want to be free to be able to have a dream, so many of them have no idea why music, something they love so much can be so wrong, they want to free to listen to their music, watch TV, go to sports events such as football games, baseball games, or rodeos. They want to be free to go to the movies. Now most of us reading this would take every last one of these things for granted, but all of this is forbidden according to the Amish rules and way of thinking. They want to be free to have a life to be able to use their God-given talents and see their dreams fulfilled. So why then when they leave do they turn to drinking and partying and fornication and even destruction of property? I believe because by the time they have reached age 15 and 16 they have heard nothing but things they cannot do and they don't care anymore and this is the way it manifests itself. This is what young people among the Amish have done for years and years even back to the days of our parents and grandparents. So even those who really want to do right in the sight of God just don't care anymore and there is so much that doesn't make sense anyway so why bother even trying to figure out what is right and what is wrong. The really sad thing for me was to see Lena's idea of freedom. She thinks being able to have her boyfriend, partying, and going wild is freedom. They go from one form of bondage to another form of bondage, but they don't understand that yet. (One of the reasons for my book - My Quilt of Many Stories) I want to be able to encourage all people who come from strict religions where there are rules even the preachers and the priests can't explain where they come from in the Bible. It is the way it has always been so it must be right and besides we don't question the rules we just continue to believe them. It is what has been passed down from our elders and if it was good enough for them it is good enough for us. I want people to realize Jesus came so we could have a relationship with our Father in heaven. It is only through Jesus Christ that we will ever be able to come to the Father, but that relationship with our Father is for now while we are here on this earth not just for when we get to heaven, which by Amish standards you can only hope to get to anyway. Why then are we surprised when young people want to rebel against the rules that tell them they can't have things like music and they can't go places like amusement parks and sports events and there are only certain professions you can be a part of. You cannot have a profession that would require high school or college because they are not allowed to attend high school and obviously college would then be out of the question. Basically by the time I was 18 and definitely by the time I was 20, I felt it was hopeless. There was no way I was going to be able to be good enough to get to heaven and then.................you will just have to keep coming back to find out what happens. :) Unless something else comes along that catches my attention I will be writing about my time as a school teacher in the Amish schools next time I visit with you all.

Bigger & Better

So after less than 2 years on my great uncle's farm my father wanted to move on to bigger and better. We moved to a very large dairy farm where for the next 8 years with the exception of one year when we lived with my grandparents we worked for an Englishman who owned 2 farms. On one of the farms we just crop farmed and on the other one we also had a large herd of dairy cows. So as a young girl I would have to get up and go out to the barn to feed animals and sometimes help milk the cows before running to change and head off for the 15 - 20 minute walk to school. School was from 8:45 AM until 3:15 PM. When I got home I would have to change and then head out to the barn to start the chores all over again. Sometimes my Mom would ask me to stay in the house and help with dinner preparations. Either way there was never time for play! Thank God we never had homework unless we had missed school and needed to catch up. Winter time there were extra chores like bringing wood from the wood pile to the house as this is what we used for heat. In the summer time there were extra things we had to do like mow the grass, weed the garden, help put the hay up, and canning. I did say bigger and BETTER, right? The most important and best thing about moving to the bigger farm was INDOOR PLUMBING!! Although we had an outhouse on our new farm we did also have indoor plumbing which meant we could have a shower! At the previous place we had to haul the water inside, heat the water in a huge cooker, and then take a bath in the metal bathtub in the basement. No wonder some Amish people only take a bath once a week, and in the winter time there are some who only bathe once every 2 weeks for church and take sponge baths in between........gross! Huh?! Don't think I'm kidding, because I am not! This did not just happen 25 years ago when I was a young girl, it still happens today!

Humble Beginnings

I was the second child born to my parents and then grew up the oldest child. Their first child, a son died at 15 months old before I was born. I was followed by 3 more sons and 1 more daughter. My parents had what many Amish people of that generation thought, a small family. My father worked in construction until I was 7 years old and then we moved to a farm owned by my great uncle and great aunt. On this farm we did everything the way they did it in the pioneer days. Milked the cows by hand, skimmed the cream off before sending the other milk off to be made into cheese at the local cheese factory. We then churned the cream to make our own butter. Water was brought into the house from a pump outside the back door and yes, you guessed it, the bathroom was located about 50 - 100 paces from the back door of the house. Yes, it gets very cold in northeastern Ohio in the winter time and yes, we did have to use the outdoor bathroom (otherwise known as an outhouse) when it was 5 below zero outside. We raised our own chickens not just for the eggs they gave us, but also for the chicken we would eat. We also raised our own pork and of course there was always a cow or two that provided us with all the beef we needed for our growing family. 3 boys can eat a lot of food when they are in the process of growing from a few feet to over six feet in about 10 or 12 years. Mowing grass in the summer time was always a tiring chore. Keep in mind we did not live in the suburbs of any metro area so the yard was not the little 10 mow job many people have today. We lived in the country where the closest grocery store was between 5 & 10 miles away. That means a really huge yard to be mowed all with a push mower and no there was no power except for the power in your own 2 arms. So for a 4th grade girl it could sometimes take 2 days to mow all of the grass.
OK, enough for this time. More reflections coming soon!! Please feel free to share your comments or experiences or questions.

I am excited about the creation of my blog. I hope it will be both informative for you as well as intriguing. I am looking forward to sharing my reflections of my heritage growing up Amish in northeastern Ohio, as well as answering questions you may have about the Amish. In addition feel free to post your own reflections about your time or experience with the Amish.
Sincerely, Barbara Kay