Wow! So how do you deal with telling your parents who are Amish that you are getting a divorce? This is something that has become a reality for me. So I made the decision to write my parents a letter to let them know of my impending divorce, because I did not want them to find out from someone else. Needless to say, it did not go over well as was indicated by the short response scribbled inside my Christmas card by my mother. I did respond to her note with another letter. I never heard back from her again. That was 6 months ago.
Bottom line, the Amish do not believe in divorce under any circumstances. The truth is, as a Christian, I don't believe in divorce either. I believe if there are two people who love God and choose to live on the path of love and forgiveness at all times, there should never be a need to even think about divorce. Unfortunately, the key is two people who both choose to live on this path. When one person won't and chooses to walk away, there is absolutely nothing you can do except watch them go, pray for them, and know their choices are between them and God and they will have to face their choices one day. Today is just not that day so they walk away thinking they are getting away with it.
So all of the things my mother wrote to me I don't disagree with, but the part she doesn't get is divorce is not something I chose. My ex-husband chose to leave rather than deal with the demons inside and fight to overcome whatever was tearing us apart. No, he took the coward's way out and walked away, telling himself I was the problem and I was not worth fighting for. How do I explain this to my parents? None of this matters to them. Divorce is never an option. Period.
So I am going home to visit them in a week for the first time in over a year and a half and for the first time since letting them know about my upcoming divorce. I go because I love my parents and my daughters love their grandparents. And in their own way they love me and they love my girls; however, I am not looking forward to the conversations that will be inevitable. There are no words that will help them understand. There will be no defense that will cause them to somehow miraculously have compassion. No, their beliefs do not allow them to have compassion and love for me during one of the most difficult times in my life. Instead, there will be lots of condemnation and reinforcement of the failure I am and the disgrace I am to the family.
So while I have no doubt that no matter where you come from divorce is not easy for any family to accept. When their daughter tells them she is getting a divorce I am sure there is disappointment, probably anger, grief, and any other emotion you might imagine, but in many cases there will still be the love and support for you, their daughter. That is not going to be the case in my case.
Wouldn't it just be easier to stay away and not go visit knowing what is in store? Well, while it would certainly be easier, it would not bring forth it's intended purpose for life and that would be to love at all times and in all circumstances. They are my parents. I love them and as long as they are alive I will go see them and take my girls to visit their grandparents. I understand there is nothing I can do or say to change their mind, but God can. So I won't try to fix it, defend it, or explain it. I will allow God to send the Holy Spirit to show them if they will open their eyes. I will pray a lot and then I will love them as best as I know how and hope for the best!
The truth is I am not going to change the Amish, their beliefs, or how they choose to treat their own should they choose a different path for their lives. I am already excommunicated and shunned so what more can they do? Nothing that will hurt any more. Although I don't agree with their reasoning, I have received God's healing and that is what helps me to get through whatever they want to dish out, because I understand why they do what they do.
So pray for peace and love to be present on my visit with my parents and any other family that may show up while we are there.
Bountiful Blessings,
Barbara
About Me
- Barbara Kay
- I became a single Mom a year and a half ago and I am Mom to 2 amazing girls who are my motivation for everything I do in life! I want to create a legacy and make a difference in their lives. I want to teach them the skills and give them the tools they need to be all they were created to be! I am a student of Dani Johnson on www.danijohnson.com and my goal in 2014 is to become a facilitator for 2 of the Dani Johnson programs, Grooming the Next Generation for Success and Gems. I am in the process of writing several books including a cookbook and putting together healthy cooking classes that I will be helping to teach! I grew up Amish in northeastern Ohio and left the culture in 1995 when I became a born again believer in Jesus Christ. I have travelled to Brazil, Guatemala, and Haiti on short term mission trips since becoming a Christian in 1995. Please feel free to post comments or questions and I will always do my best to answer any questions you have. If you have problems posting to the blog feel free to send me an e-mail at barbarakeim72@gmail.com God Bless you! Bountiful Blessings, Barbara Kay
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Excommunication & Shunning
Wow! This is such a touchy and controversial subject! There are about as many opinions about this as there are people who are experiencing it. So I will attempt to share my view, although I have to say it is a very emotional topic.
First, I would like to say that neither of these words actually show up in the KJV Bible, which albeit in German is the one the Amish use. The word shunned is used in Acts 20:27 and 2 Timothy 2:16 but neither excommunication or shunning are found.
Second, I am not going to get into all the theological mumbo jumbo of this subject, but I will share my experience. I became a member of the Amish church when I was 18. I left 5 years later when I was 23. As is the custom I was paid several visits by the Bishops (the one in the church I currently attended and the one who baptized me), the ministers and deacon. It is their duty to go talk to one who as they see it is erring in their ways. They came to talk to me and to try to explain to me where and why I was wrong. I respectfully listened and thanked them, but told them when they left to do whatever it was they needed to do. I was not coming back. I later received a letter that told me I had been excommunicated. How I am treated depends on where I go, who else is there when I go, and I must say my mindset and attitude has had a lot to do with how I have been treated. See sometimes those of us who leave, because we feel God has enlightened us and we have received Jesus as our personal Savior, feel the need to prove we are right and they are wrong and we try to play the Holy Spirit in their life which is something God never intended for us to do.
Many of us who have left the Amish left for many different reasons. I was one of those people who never allowed myself to consider leaving because I didn't want to go to hell and I was a school teacher after all so I had influence over the young people in our community. Going to hell is what they teach will happen if you leave the church, because they believe it is belonging to the church that keeps you connected to and right with God. I loved God and I wanted to live a life that honored God. I didn't understand how all of the things we were taught to do or not to do had anything to do with actually honoring Him, but I didn't question. Well, at least not most of the time. When I did ask questions I was always told it is the way it has always been and we are not to question it.
So here is where I am sure I will stir some and they will whole-heartedly disagree with me, but that's OK. Philippians 2 talks to us about working out our own salvation with fear and trembling, in other words be convinced in your own mind that what you believe is true, but realize it is God which works in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. The Amish believe in God. The Amish believe in Jesus Christ as being crucified for the forgiveness of sins. Their error is thinking they can force people to live a life that honors God by creating a bunch of rules to keep people in line. Their second error is believing that it is what they wear and what they have or don't have that separates them from the world. Where they miss it is living a life that truly honors our Father in heaven is a matter of the heart and not the outward. Where they miss it is realizing if the matters of the heart are taken care of the outward follows. God is a spirit and they that worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth. John 4:23-24
So the thing everyone needs to understand is what they believe they sincerely believe to be the gospel. They can't always give an explanation to why they believe what they do, just that it is what they have been taught to believe. I truly believe the only way to reach and lead someone to a knowledge of the truth, especially someone who loves God, believes in God, believes in Jesus Christ as the One who came to earth and was crucified for us is through love. For a works based religion it is very difficult to grasp the fact that salvation is a free gift and there is nothing you can do to earn it. They need to see the love of Jesus shining in us by how we treat each other and then by how we treat them. Our mission is to love and to be loved. Love is the source and reason behind everything God is and God does. Jesus never condemned or pointed out the wrong (unless you were a high-minded, spiritually proud Pharisee or Sadducee) but always in love pointed people to the right path. This is the way, walk ye in it. Now go and sin no more. I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life and no one comes to the Father but by me. These were His instructions when an act of sin even one listed in the Ten Commandments such as do not commit adultery was brought to His attention.
In conclusion, my experience and what my Father in heaven has taught me is...it is not my responsibility to convince anyone what they should believe, but that each one needs to be convinced in their own mind what they believe is true. I have also learned that because it is our commission to go and make disciples of all men that we need to share the truth of God's Word as He leads us and directs us to do so, but I have found that is done more with how I live then what I try to share with someone. Our first commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, and strength and the second is to love our neighbor as myself. We were created to be loved and to love. It is what every soul longs for...to be loved.
Even after almost 19 years since I left, I still experience shunning and excommunication from my family when I go visit. I have to say I experience it to a much lesser degree than most. One of the ways they let me know I am not considered a part of the family anymore is I do not hear from my family at all unless there is a death in the family usually someone who is in the immediate family such as a grandparent (which all of my grandparents are now deceased), aunt, uncle, etc. I do not receive invitations to any family gatherings or functions including weddings. So yes I do still experience the excommunication and shunning practiced by my culture. To be completely honest things may be different today if I had the same mindset when I first left as I do today. Unfortunately I had a lot to learn. When I first left I was in full defense mode and I took down or at least tried to take down everyone who tried to convince me the road I was on was the wrong one. In other words I tried to convince those who tried to save this black sheep from total damnation as they saw it that I had found the truth and if they would just listen they would see it too. Well, you see when people are blind, they can't see. And furthermore only God can cause the blind to see, not Barbara. Well, I admit I tried to make my family see and not always in the most graceious of ways and the result was alienation and not restored relationships. Even though none of my siblings ever speak to me or want anything to do with me, I do still get to go see my parents and they love my daughters like they are their grandchildren for which I am thankful. I pray every day for restoration of relationships with my family, but I don't try to force them to see...that I will leave to the Holy Spirit. Only a God so loving as ours knows what it will take and at what moment someone will choose to surrender their lives completely and totally to Him. And at best all I can do is love and cherish every moment I get with my parents and pray there will be a day when my family will all be together again in unity and harmony.
In summary I have determined that loving and praying and living what I believe is much more powerful than trying to defend, convince and prove that I am right and they are wrong! Love! Is there anything greater on this planet? True, genuine, unconditional love?!! It's what we are called to, were created for, and what we all long for, but how many of us live there? I ask God every day to help me love as He loves, as He has called us to love, first Him and then people. What if we all lived like today was our last day? We are not promised tomorrow! What an impact would we have on the world around us? God is present and evident everywhere. Are we aware of His presence? Do we spend time in His presence? Are we more concerned with what is on God's agenda for our day than our own or do we have our life all planned and any deviation is not optional? Yes, challenging questions, I know, but ones we must all answer or they will be answered for us only we may not like the results.
Excommunication and shunning is very real, it is for most very painful, and although we hear it a lot in reference to the Amish and those who leave it happens in many other cultures and religions as well. It is a practice that we will not change, it is a core belief for most who practice it. Our mission should be to love those who persecute us, because an encounter, a true love encounter with Jesus Christ is the only thing that will change a belief or a hard heart, or open a blind eye and allow them to see. Our mission...to LOVE because LOVE conquers all and only One greater than us can reveal what that LOVE looks like!
First, I would like to say that neither of these words actually show up in the KJV Bible, which albeit in German is the one the Amish use. The word shunned is used in Acts 20:27 and 2 Timothy 2:16 but neither excommunication or shunning are found.
Second, I am not going to get into all the theological mumbo jumbo of this subject, but I will share my experience. I became a member of the Amish church when I was 18. I left 5 years later when I was 23. As is the custom I was paid several visits by the Bishops (the one in the church I currently attended and the one who baptized me), the ministers and deacon. It is their duty to go talk to one who as they see it is erring in their ways. They came to talk to me and to try to explain to me where and why I was wrong. I respectfully listened and thanked them, but told them when they left to do whatever it was they needed to do. I was not coming back. I later received a letter that told me I had been excommunicated. How I am treated depends on where I go, who else is there when I go, and I must say my mindset and attitude has had a lot to do with how I have been treated. See sometimes those of us who leave, because we feel God has enlightened us and we have received Jesus as our personal Savior, feel the need to prove we are right and they are wrong and we try to play the Holy Spirit in their life which is something God never intended for us to do.
Many of us who have left the Amish left for many different reasons. I was one of those people who never allowed myself to consider leaving because I didn't want to go to hell and I was a school teacher after all so I had influence over the young people in our community. Going to hell is what they teach will happen if you leave the church, because they believe it is belonging to the church that keeps you connected to and right with God. I loved God and I wanted to live a life that honored God. I didn't understand how all of the things we were taught to do or not to do had anything to do with actually honoring Him, but I didn't question. Well, at least not most of the time. When I did ask questions I was always told it is the way it has always been and we are not to question it.
So here is where I am sure I will stir some and they will whole-heartedly disagree with me, but that's OK. Philippians 2 talks to us about working out our own salvation with fear and trembling, in other words be convinced in your own mind that what you believe is true, but realize it is God which works in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. The Amish believe in God. The Amish believe in Jesus Christ as being crucified for the forgiveness of sins. Their error is thinking they can force people to live a life that honors God by creating a bunch of rules to keep people in line. Their second error is believing that it is what they wear and what they have or don't have that separates them from the world. Where they miss it is living a life that truly honors our Father in heaven is a matter of the heart and not the outward. Where they miss it is realizing if the matters of the heart are taken care of the outward follows. God is a spirit and they that worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth. John 4:23-24
So the thing everyone needs to understand is what they believe they sincerely believe to be the gospel. They can't always give an explanation to why they believe what they do, just that it is what they have been taught to believe. I truly believe the only way to reach and lead someone to a knowledge of the truth, especially someone who loves God, believes in God, believes in Jesus Christ as the One who came to earth and was crucified for us is through love. For a works based religion it is very difficult to grasp the fact that salvation is a free gift and there is nothing you can do to earn it. They need to see the love of Jesus shining in us by how we treat each other and then by how we treat them. Our mission is to love and to be loved. Love is the source and reason behind everything God is and God does. Jesus never condemned or pointed out the wrong (unless you were a high-minded, spiritually proud Pharisee or Sadducee) but always in love pointed people to the right path. This is the way, walk ye in it. Now go and sin no more. I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life and no one comes to the Father but by me. These were His instructions when an act of sin even one listed in the Ten Commandments such as do not commit adultery was brought to His attention.
In conclusion, my experience and what my Father in heaven has taught me is...it is not my responsibility to convince anyone what they should believe, but that each one needs to be convinced in their own mind what they believe is true. I have also learned that because it is our commission to go and make disciples of all men that we need to share the truth of God's Word as He leads us and directs us to do so, but I have found that is done more with how I live then what I try to share with someone. Our first commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, and strength and the second is to love our neighbor as myself. We were created to be loved and to love. It is what every soul longs for...to be loved.
Even after almost 19 years since I left, I still experience shunning and excommunication from my family when I go visit. I have to say I experience it to a much lesser degree than most. One of the ways they let me know I am not considered a part of the family anymore is I do not hear from my family at all unless there is a death in the family usually someone who is in the immediate family such as a grandparent (which all of my grandparents are now deceased), aunt, uncle, etc. I do not receive invitations to any family gatherings or functions including weddings. So yes I do still experience the excommunication and shunning practiced by my culture. To be completely honest things may be different today if I had the same mindset when I first left as I do today. Unfortunately I had a lot to learn. When I first left I was in full defense mode and I took down or at least tried to take down everyone who tried to convince me the road I was on was the wrong one. In other words I tried to convince those who tried to save this black sheep from total damnation as they saw it that I had found the truth and if they would just listen they would see it too. Well, you see when people are blind, they can't see. And furthermore only God can cause the blind to see, not Barbara. Well, I admit I tried to make my family see and not always in the most graceious of ways and the result was alienation and not restored relationships. Even though none of my siblings ever speak to me or want anything to do with me, I do still get to go see my parents and they love my daughters like they are their grandchildren for which I am thankful. I pray every day for restoration of relationships with my family, but I don't try to force them to see...that I will leave to the Holy Spirit. Only a God so loving as ours knows what it will take and at what moment someone will choose to surrender their lives completely and totally to Him. And at best all I can do is love and cherish every moment I get with my parents and pray there will be a day when my family will all be together again in unity and harmony.
In summary I have determined that loving and praying and living what I believe is much more powerful than trying to defend, convince and prove that I am right and they are wrong! Love! Is there anything greater on this planet? True, genuine, unconditional love?!! It's what we are called to, were created for, and what we all long for, but how many of us live there? I ask God every day to help me love as He loves, as He has called us to love, first Him and then people. What if we all lived like today was our last day? We are not promised tomorrow! What an impact would we have on the world around us? God is present and evident everywhere. Are we aware of His presence? Do we spend time in His presence? Are we more concerned with what is on God's agenda for our day than our own or do we have our life all planned and any deviation is not optional? Yes, challenging questions, I know, but ones we must all answer or they will be answered for us only we may not like the results.
Excommunication and shunning is very real, it is for most very painful, and although we hear it a lot in reference to the Amish and those who leave it happens in many other cultures and religions as well. It is a practice that we will not change, it is a core belief for most who practice it. Our mission should be to love those who persecute us, because an encounter, a true love encounter with Jesus Christ is the only thing that will change a belief or a hard heart, or open a blind eye and allow them to see. Our mission...to LOVE because LOVE conquers all and only One greater than us can reveal what that LOVE looks like!
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Time to Tap the Maple Trees
So several years ago I posted about one of my favorite memories as a child was syrup making time. It is almost that time of year again! Just when you think winter is never going to end, it's time to tap the trees which is the surest sign that spring is going to be coming very soon. Some days I long to go back to a life that was far more simple than the one I find myself in today.
Tapping the trees was a task only my Dad was able to do as you had to make sure you were tapping a maple tree and not any of the other trees like oak or ash. You see there are no leaves on the trees at this time in Ohio and that is how I would know what kind of tree it is. Not only that the spile had to be put at just the right place and just the right angle. So that was always Dad's job.
Of course Dad did the gathering as well because you had to use a team of horses who pulled this huge tank around the woods while each bucket had to be lifted from the trees and emptied. I did help with this task once or twice but my absolute favorite part was to be in the sugar house while the sap was being cooked down into syrup. I remember the smell of the wood burning and I remember the fire was extremely hot. It was usually so cozy and warm in the sugar house and when it was my turn (my brothers and I had to take turns because someone had to stay and do the chores) to go back to the woods after school for the evening I would get to take dinner back for the ones who were back doing the cooking of the sap. Of course my most favorite part of the night was making dessert...maple cream. It is the sweetest most delectable dessert I have ever eaten and I don't know why I have not done this but I have never made it since leaving home. Maybe because it would just not be the same. It is a little hard to create the atmosphere of the sugarhouse in the city. That has been such a long time ago. Now that I live in a climate that actually has winter and it freezes I will have to look into teaching my girls this awesome skill.
One other thing this time of year reminds me of is spring is coming. February and sometimes March seemed to be endless to me especially when I was young and going to school. In northeastern Ohio it felt like winter was never going to leave!
Until next time "carpe diem"! "seize the day"
Bountiful Blessings,
Barbara Kay
Tapping the trees was a task only my Dad was able to do as you had to make sure you were tapping a maple tree and not any of the other trees like oak or ash. You see there are no leaves on the trees at this time in Ohio and that is how I would know what kind of tree it is. Not only that the spile had to be put at just the right place and just the right angle. So that was always Dad's job.
Of course Dad did the gathering as well because you had to use a team of horses who pulled this huge tank around the woods while each bucket had to be lifted from the trees and emptied. I did help with this task once or twice but my absolute favorite part was to be in the sugar house while the sap was being cooked down into syrup. I remember the smell of the wood burning and I remember the fire was extremely hot. It was usually so cozy and warm in the sugar house and when it was my turn (my brothers and I had to take turns because someone had to stay and do the chores) to go back to the woods after school for the evening I would get to take dinner back for the ones who were back doing the cooking of the sap. Of course my most favorite part of the night was making dessert...maple cream. It is the sweetest most delectable dessert I have ever eaten and I don't know why I have not done this but I have never made it since leaving home. Maybe because it would just not be the same. It is a little hard to create the atmosphere of the sugarhouse in the city. That has been such a long time ago. Now that I live in a climate that actually has winter and it freezes I will have to look into teaching my girls this awesome skill.
One other thing this time of year reminds me of is spring is coming. February and sometimes March seemed to be endless to me especially when I was young and going to school. In northeastern Ohio it felt like winter was never going to leave!
Until next time "carpe diem"! "seize the day"
Bountiful Blessings,
Barbara Kay
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Wow! 3 Years of LIFE and so much has changed!
Hello Again,
Wow! First I must offer my apology to those of you who were hoping to follow this blog and learn lots about the Amish. There have been some dramatic happenings in my life in the last 3 years and a lot has changed. But I am a firm believer that we have to be the change we want to see in the world so I am not going to reflect any longer on the past except to draw from the valuable lessons I have learned and they were many! I am sure if you become a faithful follower (I hope you will) I will be able to share some of the lessons I have learned and hopefully it will help some of you in your life. I truly believe the things we experience in life are not just for us to learn from but are meant to be shared that others may learn and grow and even be spared heartache and pain.
My goal is to post a new post every week. So please say a prayer for me to be able to accomplish that goal!
So now to the future! I am excited about what the future holds! There is so much promise and so much hope! My faith has been strengthened by the things I have experienced since I last posted. I have become a single mother and my two daughters and I moved to Colorado one year ago. It is so beautiful here and being able to see the mountains every day and breathe the clean mountain air has revived my soul in a way I cannot put into words!
So for tonight I just wanted to revive this blog and let you know I have returned!
Please send me your questions on some of the things you are interested in hearing about in regards to the Amish to hbkeim03@gmail.com. Maybe you don't have a question but have a topic you would like me to address. Please send me those topics as well! I want to know what you are interested in reading! I will do my best to answer each one of them and if there is one I don't have an answer for I will get it for you!
Bountiful Blessings
Barbara Kay
Wow! First I must offer my apology to those of you who were hoping to follow this blog and learn lots about the Amish. There have been some dramatic happenings in my life in the last 3 years and a lot has changed. But I am a firm believer that we have to be the change we want to see in the world so I am not going to reflect any longer on the past except to draw from the valuable lessons I have learned and they were many! I am sure if you become a faithful follower (I hope you will) I will be able to share some of the lessons I have learned and hopefully it will help some of you in your life. I truly believe the things we experience in life are not just for us to learn from but are meant to be shared that others may learn and grow and even be spared heartache and pain.
My goal is to post a new post every week. So please say a prayer for me to be able to accomplish that goal!
So now to the future! I am excited about what the future holds! There is so much promise and so much hope! My faith has been strengthened by the things I have experienced since I last posted. I have become a single mother and my two daughters and I moved to Colorado one year ago. It is so beautiful here and being able to see the mountains every day and breathe the clean mountain air has revived my soul in a way I cannot put into words!
So for tonight I just wanted to revive this blog and let you know I have returned!
Please send me your questions on some of the things you are interested in hearing about in regards to the Amish to hbkeim03@gmail.com. Maybe you don't have a question but have a topic you would like me to address. Please send me those topics as well! I want to know what you are interested in reading! I will do my best to answer each one of them and if there is one I don't have an answer for I will get it for you!
Bountiful Blessings
Barbara Kay
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Getting back to blogging
Yes, I didn't think it would take me this long to get back to blogging, but it has!
Lots of things have changed obviously since my last blog entry almost one year ago. When summer break began I decided I would be getting back to being true to my convictions and I would stay home with our children. In addition, I was going to be homeschooling. In addition to that I prayed and asked God to bring something into my life that I would love to do, that would not take all of my time, but would contribute financially to our household. Well, I did not have to wait long. God brought me to Tastefully Simple! I had never heard of Tastefully Simple before, but I have to say becoming a Tastefully Simple Independent Consultant was one of the best choices for employment I have ever made!! I love being a consultant and conducting parties!! God is helping me work out logistics yet and this business has allowed me to dream again!! I am very excited where God is going to take my family in the next year because of this business! There are several other ventures we are involved in that I will not go into here, but we have been very blessed!
Both of my daughters are growing amazingly fast and are extremely smart in their own special way. They could not be more different in their personalities, but then that is not surprising because God makes each one of us unique! There is only one us!
I hope you will join me again as I start to post at this time weekly blogs. God has been stirring my heart to get back to writing and I am very excited! Writing is something I love to do!! It is therapy for me...it helps sometimes get things out that need to come out...it helps sometimes put things in perspective that don't seem to want to get there in thought alone.
So God bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you...may you know the love of the Father so deep and true and far-reaching you cannot contain it! I pray for healing for your hearts, your souls, your bodies!! May you be all you were created to be and may you find peace and contentment being "YOU"!
Blessings, Barbara
Lots of things have changed obviously since my last blog entry almost one year ago. When summer break began I decided I would be getting back to being true to my convictions and I would stay home with our children. In addition, I was going to be homeschooling. In addition to that I prayed and asked God to bring something into my life that I would love to do, that would not take all of my time, but would contribute financially to our household. Well, I did not have to wait long. God brought me to Tastefully Simple! I had never heard of Tastefully Simple before, but I have to say becoming a Tastefully Simple Independent Consultant was one of the best choices for employment I have ever made!! I love being a consultant and conducting parties!! God is helping me work out logistics yet and this business has allowed me to dream again!! I am very excited where God is going to take my family in the next year because of this business! There are several other ventures we are involved in that I will not go into here, but we have been very blessed!
Both of my daughters are growing amazingly fast and are extremely smart in their own special way. They could not be more different in their personalities, but then that is not surprising because God makes each one of us unique! There is only one us!
I hope you will join me again as I start to post at this time weekly blogs. God has been stirring my heart to get back to writing and I am very excited! Writing is something I love to do!! It is therapy for me...it helps sometimes get things out that need to come out...it helps sometimes put things in perspective that don't seem to want to get there in thought alone.
So God bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you...may you know the love of the Father so deep and true and far-reaching you cannot contain it! I pray for healing for your hearts, your souls, your bodies!! May you be all you were created to be and may you find peace and contentment being "YOU"!
Blessings, Barbara
Friday, April 2, 2010
It's Been A While
Wow! It is amazing what a difference a year can make! So many changes that have taken place in my life. My husband lost his job in February, 2009 and it has been a rollercoaster ever since. He has some health problems that prevent him from doing just any job so it took a while to find a job. He is now working as a school bus driver which he is not particularly fond of. I received my Nurse Aide license last summer and I worked at the Veteran's Home for several months until I went back to school. Then the schedule and my school schedule didn't want to mesh! So I was unemployed for several months. I finally got a job with Amy's school as a Content Mastery teacher and their school bus driver. Now as far as the bus driver I had to go through the steps of getting my CDL and I had to put together the bus route and everything before I started driving as they had never had a bus route up to this point in time. So now I work 11 hours a day, I go to school part time and I do my best to still be a good wife and Mommy. OK, so much for the update.
I am excited and looking forward to this summer getting here! The nice thing about working at a school is having your summers off. My goal is to finish my cookbook and my other book and I have the found an amazingly sweet lady to help me get it published. I am so excited I cannot contain myself! In addition I hope to continue my blogging and eventually my blog will become my second book!
My babies keep growing more amazing every day and my prayer is I will be able to teach them well and to teach the love and acceptance that comes from the throne of God, my Father!
I am excited and looking forward to this summer getting here! The nice thing about working at a school is having your summers off. My goal is to finish my cookbook and my other book and I have the found an amazingly sweet lady to help me get it published. I am so excited I cannot contain myself! In addition I hope to continue my blogging and eventually my blog will become my second book!
My babies keep growing more amazing every day and my prayer is I will be able to teach them well and to teach the love and acceptance that comes from the throne of God, my Father!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Life, It sweeps you off your feet
Wow! Life sure has a way of sweeping you off your feet from time to time.
One of the things I have been contemplating a lot lately is family. Are you one of the people who is blessed with a loving, caring, supportive family? If you are I hope you thank God for them multiple times a day and don't ever take them for granted.
Are you one of those people who comes from a very dysfunctional family and you have no idea what love looks like or have any idea that you are capable of achieving great things because no one has ever loved you unconditionally, encouraged you to be the best you can be at whatever you love to do, or cared about your feelings, your thoughts, your life.
My story is no different than many stories and I have a feeling many of you will relate. Growing up there was not a whole lot of encouragement or affection. No respect and definitely no unconditional love. See in the Amish for some reason affection stops about the time you turn 5 or 6 years old just when you are about to enter school and need to have the love, encouragement and affection of your parents as you enter this sometimes very scary phase of your life. My parents' religious beliefs were very strict and we lived a very sheltered life. One of the things my family believes is you can never leave the church or walk away from their beliefs because if you do you will definitely spend eternity in hell. Well, when I was 23 years old I walked away from the church and their faith knowing full well what the consequences would be. It would shunning from my family and friends for the rest of my life as long as I did not return to the church and surrender to their teachings. As a parent myself I cannot imagine doing that to your child. I may not like the choices my child makes and while there will be consequences for choices I would never cut them off from my love or my life. If they choose that it is one thing, but me choosing that will never be an option. But this is exactly what happened to me. When I chose to leave home and leave the church they are taught they have to shun. I believe in the Word of God and I believe we are too shun sin, but never the sinner. If they think I am sinning then the Bible teaches them to love me in hopes of winning me over and causing me to abandon the sin. They have done the exact opposite. They have cut me out of their life. In recent years I am able to take my children to go visit, but the relationship is not there. As long as the conversation remains about the children or day to day life everything is fine, but if you try to talk about heart issues or your beliefs or why you made the choice you made things get ugly very quickly.
All of this would be fine except as my children get older the hole that is left by not having any grandparents or aunts or uncles or cousins in their life is really difficult some days. They have friends who are like grandparents and uncles and aunts but it is still not the same. These are people who love them and will love them when we take them to visit, but other than that they don't make any effort to be involved in their lives or our lives for that matter. I don't expect anything different. We are not blood related to any of these people so whenever that is the case the investment of time and relationship is never the same as when it is your own flesh and blood.
My point in all of this is if you find yourself in this situation you have to find somewhere to belong, where people will love you with an unconditional love and will treat you like family. One thing I have learned is you cannot look for this in people, because people will always let you down whether intentionally or not. You have to find a place of inner peace where you can find comfort.
One quote comes from Psalm 27:10 which states "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me." This is a place where I find peace and where I have found acceptance. I have a heavenly Father who will always receive me and will never stop loving me and promises to never leave me or forsake me. I have found you cannot look for that peace anywhere but from God's Word and from God himself. You will not find that unconditional love and acceptance anywhere else not even in church.
So if you find yourself alone in the world let me encourage you to get into the Word of God and you will find you are not so alone after all. God is a loving Father who is just waiting to be in a relationship with you! So don't let life whatever the circumstance you find yourself in sweep you off your feet and land you on your back. Get up, get in the game, and God your Father will be there with you every step of the way. He may take your breath away, but He will always keep your feet planted on the Rock!!
One of the things I have been contemplating a lot lately is family. Are you one of the people who is blessed with a loving, caring, supportive family? If you are I hope you thank God for them multiple times a day and don't ever take them for granted.
Are you one of those people who comes from a very dysfunctional family and you have no idea what love looks like or have any idea that you are capable of achieving great things because no one has ever loved you unconditionally, encouraged you to be the best you can be at whatever you love to do, or cared about your feelings, your thoughts, your life.
My story is no different than many stories and I have a feeling many of you will relate. Growing up there was not a whole lot of encouragement or affection. No respect and definitely no unconditional love. See in the Amish for some reason affection stops about the time you turn 5 or 6 years old just when you are about to enter school and need to have the love, encouragement and affection of your parents as you enter this sometimes very scary phase of your life. My parents' religious beliefs were very strict and we lived a very sheltered life. One of the things my family believes is you can never leave the church or walk away from their beliefs because if you do you will definitely spend eternity in hell. Well, when I was 23 years old I walked away from the church and their faith knowing full well what the consequences would be. It would shunning from my family and friends for the rest of my life as long as I did not return to the church and surrender to their teachings. As a parent myself I cannot imagine doing that to your child. I may not like the choices my child makes and while there will be consequences for choices I would never cut them off from my love or my life. If they choose that it is one thing, but me choosing that will never be an option. But this is exactly what happened to me. When I chose to leave home and leave the church they are taught they have to shun. I believe in the Word of God and I believe we are too shun sin, but never the sinner. If they think I am sinning then the Bible teaches them to love me in hopes of winning me over and causing me to abandon the sin. They have done the exact opposite. They have cut me out of their life. In recent years I am able to take my children to go visit, but the relationship is not there. As long as the conversation remains about the children or day to day life everything is fine, but if you try to talk about heart issues or your beliefs or why you made the choice you made things get ugly very quickly.
All of this would be fine except as my children get older the hole that is left by not having any grandparents or aunts or uncles or cousins in their life is really difficult some days. They have friends who are like grandparents and uncles and aunts but it is still not the same. These are people who love them and will love them when we take them to visit, but other than that they don't make any effort to be involved in their lives or our lives for that matter. I don't expect anything different. We are not blood related to any of these people so whenever that is the case the investment of time and relationship is never the same as when it is your own flesh and blood.
My point in all of this is if you find yourself in this situation you have to find somewhere to belong, where people will love you with an unconditional love and will treat you like family. One thing I have learned is you cannot look for this in people, because people will always let you down whether intentionally or not. You have to find a place of inner peace where you can find comfort.
One quote comes from Psalm 27:10 which states "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me." This is a place where I find peace and where I have found acceptance. I have a heavenly Father who will always receive me and will never stop loving me and promises to never leave me or forsake me. I have found you cannot look for that peace anywhere but from God's Word and from God himself. You will not find that unconditional love and acceptance anywhere else not even in church.
So if you find yourself alone in the world let me encourage you to get into the Word of God and you will find you are not so alone after all. God is a loving Father who is just waiting to be in a relationship with you! So don't let life whatever the circumstance you find yourself in sweep you off your feet and land you on your back. Get up, get in the game, and God your Father will be there with you every step of the way. He may take your breath away, but He will always keep your feet planted on the Rock!!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
A Book Called "The Shack"
I have been determined to read at least one book a month. My most recent book I am reading is a book that was recommended by several different people. After my best friend told me, Barbara, you need to read this book. You will never be the same after reading it. I decided it was time to get the book and read it. She was right. I will never be the same and furthermore I will never look at God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit the same as I have in the past. It will be a book that I will have to reread several times to get the fullness of the message, but if you are able to have an open mind and an open heart I definitely recommend this book.
I am wondering how many of us as Christians think we have left legalism and religiosity behind and repeatedly find ourselves entwined in its grip. I have so many questions right now about true Christianity. What does that look like in the eyes of God? I have no doubt I could go ask 10 people who believe they are definitely a true Christian and I would get 10 definitions for the phrase 'a true Christian'.
My heart breaks at how callous and selfish we have become. Love and compassion are no longer at the forefront of the church. God is love so therefore anything outside of love is not of God. Think about it!
All God requires of us is just to be............Do you realize there is nothing you can do to win God's approval or to win his love? Think about it!
I am wondering how many of us as Christians think we have left legalism and religiosity behind and repeatedly find ourselves entwined in its grip. I have so many questions right now about true Christianity. What does that look like in the eyes of God? I have no doubt I could go ask 10 people who believe they are definitely a true Christian and I would get 10 definitions for the phrase 'a true Christian'.
My heart breaks at how callous and selfish we have become. Love and compassion are no longer at the forefront of the church. God is love so therefore anything outside of love is not of God. Think about it!
All God requires of us is just to be............Do you realize there is nothing you can do to win God's approval or to win his love? Think about it!
Friday, December 5, 2008
People That Surround Us
The older I get the more I realize the people we surround ourselves with have a significant impact on our lives and beliefs. I want to take a moment and share with you some recent happenings and reflections my husband and I have experienced and are contemplating. We live in Texas. Texas is an awesome place to live. From having grown up in the midwest it is a different culture here in Texas. We love it here. It has always been my husband's dream to live in Texas. After being here for 3 years we realize that after you have children having a network of people around you for support is very important. Although we have made several great friends we do not have a support system that will allow us to make the kind of changes our family needs to make in order to provide for our daughters the life we want to be able to provide for them. We are having to make some very difficult decisions, but one thing I have made one of my mottos when it comes to raising children is it is not about me. Once I bring children into this world my obligation is to do what is right for them and not what I want to do. I will be held accountable to God for the decisions I make that affect my children for the rest of their life. So no matter what I want to do or what my husband wants to do we have to make our decisions based on what is best for our daughters. We have come to the conclusion that the people who surround us it what is going to make all the difference in their lives as well as ours.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Fall Memories
Fall always brings many memories for me. Being raised Amish I only went through 8th grade before graduation and then I was at home for 2 years. At the age of 16 I became a schoolteacher in the Amish school system. This was something I had always wanted to be as I was growing up. The Amish schools only had 2 rooms with 2 teachers so my first 4 years I taught 5th - 8th grade. The last 3 years of teaching my 4 grades were made up of different grades, but always included 7th & 8th grade. I absolutely loved teaching and I still miss it very much. So that is the first thing fall reminds me of when I see children heading back to school.
The second thing I think about is leaving home. September 29, 2008 marks 13 years since I left my parents' home and life as I had known life for the first 23 years of my life. It is always a bitter sweet time.
I really miss the closeness of family and community that we had, especially since I live in Texas now and when I moved here 3 years ago I did not know anyone. I now have 2 little girls who are growing up without grandparents or aunts and uncles and cousins in their lives. Especially around the holidays it always is difficult.
Sweet because I have truly found freedom in knowing I have been forgiven. That Jesus my Lord paid the ultimate sacrifice on the cross and He died in my place. It is quite amazing when you think about it. I had no chance of ever seeing heaven until God paid a price for my soul with the shed blood of His Son Jesus on the Cross of Calvary. I still remember the day when that revelation hit me. God loves His creation so much He would pay such a high price for us who are such great sinners. So although some days it is a very lonely time being so far away from friends and family, I am working on making new friends and I realize now I am a part of a very large family, the family of God. It is quite amazing!
All in all I love fall especially in Texas because it is when the heat actually becomes tolerable. 70s in the daytime and 50s at night. Wonderful!!
The second thing I think about is leaving home. September 29, 2008 marks 13 years since I left my parents' home and life as I had known life for the first 23 years of my life. It is always a bitter sweet time.
I really miss the closeness of family and community that we had, especially since I live in Texas now and when I moved here 3 years ago I did not know anyone. I now have 2 little girls who are growing up without grandparents or aunts and uncles and cousins in their lives. Especially around the holidays it always is difficult.
Sweet because I have truly found freedom in knowing I have been forgiven. That Jesus my Lord paid the ultimate sacrifice on the cross and He died in my place. It is quite amazing when you think about it. I had no chance of ever seeing heaven until God paid a price for my soul with the shed blood of His Son Jesus on the Cross of Calvary. I still remember the day when that revelation hit me. God loves His creation so much He would pay such a high price for us who are such great sinners. So although some days it is a very lonely time being so far away from friends and family, I am working on making new friends and I realize now I am a part of a very large family, the family of God. It is quite amazing!
All in all I love fall especially in Texas because it is when the heat actually becomes tolerable. 70s in the daytime and 50s at night. Wonderful!!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Fondest Memories
I am reflecting tonight on what I would call some of my fondest memories growing up Amish. I would have to say seeing my Mom come home with my one and only baby sister has to be one of the top memories. I was 10 years old when my sister was born and so far I only had brothers who loved to torture their sister. Today I am very proud of my sister. She is a great Mom getting prepared for baby #4.
When I was 7 & 8 years old one of my fondest memories is spending time in the sugar shack in way back in the woods watching as my great uncle cooked the sap that eventually became maple syrup. For a treat my great aunt taught us how to make maple cream, which is a very rich, creamy maple candy.
From the time I was about 10 or 11 years old we would go to Sea World in Aurora, OH once a year on a Saturday. We would do the chores before we left in the morning and then have some of the neighbors do the chores in the evening and we would stay until the last skiing event happened with fireworks. We always stayed for the fireworks!
Christmas was always a special time and there were things that became tradition at our house. My Mom would always buy us a book of Lifesavers and she would put together a cup of all kinds of different candies and put them at our place at the table along with our book of Lifesavers. We would always get something fun, but the one thing we always got for Christmas was new underwear and usually I would get a new dress or two and my brothers would get new pants and shirts. Something I really miss and remember especially was getting together with all of the aunts, uncles, and cousins at my grandparents home for Christmas Dinner. My grandparents had 69 grandchildren and 8 children with their spouses. My great aunt and uncle always came as well. They never had any children so they were like a second set of grandparents to all the children. We did the traditional turkey dinner and there would be multiple turkeys, hams, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, cole slaw, dinner rolls and lots and lots of desserts and candies.
My Mom is an amazing cake decorator and the first time I really remember her making a huge cake was for my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary. She made a multiple layer cake and decorated it with gold. It was beautiful! She made all of our birthday cakes and cakes for many special occasions. Today she still makes wedding cakes for the Amish weddings in her area. Something that I will always cherish is that even though my Mom disagrees with the life decisions I have made she still agreed to make my wedding cake and she even brought it to the church which was an hour and a half away from where they lived and set it up in the reception area. That will always be a very special memory. Thanks, Mom.
I will share more memories next time.
When I was 7 & 8 years old one of my fondest memories is spending time in the sugar shack in way back in the woods watching as my great uncle cooked the sap that eventually became maple syrup. For a treat my great aunt taught us how to make maple cream, which is a very rich, creamy maple candy.
From the time I was about 10 or 11 years old we would go to Sea World in Aurora, OH once a year on a Saturday. We would do the chores before we left in the morning and then have some of the neighbors do the chores in the evening and we would stay until the last skiing event happened with fireworks. We always stayed for the fireworks!
Christmas was always a special time and there were things that became tradition at our house. My Mom would always buy us a book of Lifesavers and she would put together a cup of all kinds of different candies and put them at our place at the table along with our book of Lifesavers. We would always get something fun, but the one thing we always got for Christmas was new underwear and usually I would get a new dress or two and my brothers would get new pants and shirts. Something I really miss and remember especially was getting together with all of the aunts, uncles, and cousins at my grandparents home for Christmas Dinner. My grandparents had 69 grandchildren and 8 children with their spouses. My great aunt and uncle always came as well. They never had any children so they were like a second set of grandparents to all the children. We did the traditional turkey dinner and there would be multiple turkeys, hams, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, cole slaw, dinner rolls and lots and lots of desserts and candies.
My Mom is an amazing cake decorator and the first time I really remember her making a huge cake was for my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary. She made a multiple layer cake and decorated it with gold. It was beautiful! She made all of our birthday cakes and cakes for many special occasions. Today she still makes wedding cakes for the Amish weddings in her area. Something that I will always cherish is that even though my Mom disagrees with the life decisions I have made she still agreed to make my wedding cake and she even brought it to the church which was an hour and a half away from where they lived and set it up in the reception area. That will always be a very special memory. Thanks, Mom.
I will share more memories next time.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Why Do I Do The Things I Do?
This is the question that has been on my mind this week. There are so many things we are taught in our lives by people who are supposed to be there to steer us right. From the parents we have to the teachers to the preachers to the friends and parents of friends and grandparents and other family members. So how do I ever determine who God created me to be? This is the question that has been weighing heavily on my mind of late. I have made it my mission that I am going to spend time alone with God for as long as it takes to answer that question. Apart from influence of church, apart from influence of those who are supposed to be there to teach us the truth. I have decided that I am going to become a student of the Word of God. I am going to rededicate every day of my life to study until I am convinced in whom I believe and until I have the confidence to never again be swayed by those who claim to have your best interest, especially spiritual interests at heart.
I am not convinced anymore that the way we do church in America today is what the early church looked like and what God meant when He said forsake not the assembling of yourselves together. I am on a mission to seek God's heart for His church today. He is coming back to receive a bride spotless and without wrinkle. How many of you want to be a part of that bride?
Legalism is a crutch and a replacement for faith, I am convinced of this fact. Having a list of do's and don'ts takes out any need for walking with God by faith and truly having a real father/child relationship. All I have to do is follow a set of instructions and then I should be OK. All I have to do is to look to the church to tell me what a Christian should look like. I am sorry this is no longer good enough for me. I have a feeling the church cares much more about what I look like and what I do then God does.
I believe God cares about my heart. He cares about my motives of why I do what I do. We sing He is my all in all, but what does that really mean?? I intend to make God, my Father my all in all in everything I do and I pray the Lord will help me to be a leader in bringing people back to the fundamentals of the gospel of Jesus Christ! Most of what is on my heart to do right now will go against the grain of the mainstream Christian today, but that is OK. I have been rejected and austersized before for giving my life over to the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul says we should count it all joy when we are persecuted all the day long. Jesus is my joy! He paid the price for my mansion in heaven!! I owe my life to Him and I intend on being radical for Jesus and stop being religious.
I am not convinced anymore that the way we do church in America today is what the early church looked like and what God meant when He said forsake not the assembling of yourselves together. I am on a mission to seek God's heart for His church today. He is coming back to receive a bride spotless and without wrinkle. How many of you want to be a part of that bride?
Legalism is a crutch and a replacement for faith, I am convinced of this fact. Having a list of do's and don'ts takes out any need for walking with God by faith and truly having a real father/child relationship. All I have to do is follow a set of instructions and then I should be OK. All I have to do is to look to the church to tell me what a Christian should look like. I am sorry this is no longer good enough for me. I have a feeling the church cares much more about what I look like and what I do then God does.
I believe God cares about my heart. He cares about my motives of why I do what I do. We sing He is my all in all, but what does that really mean?? I intend to make God, my Father my all in all in everything I do and I pray the Lord will help me to be a leader in bringing people back to the fundamentals of the gospel of Jesus Christ! Most of what is on my heart to do right now will go against the grain of the mainstream Christian today, but that is OK. I have been rejected and austersized before for giving my life over to the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul says we should count it all joy when we are persecuted all the day long. Jesus is my joy! He paid the price for my mansion in heaven!! I owe my life to Him and I intend on being radical for Jesus and stop being religious.
Friday, July 4, 2008
A Noble Profession
As promised I will spend the next few moments reflecting on my days as an Amish schoolteacher. As some of you know and others may not know the Amish only allow their children to attend school through the 8th grade. They feel with the professions that are available to the Amish there is no need for an education beyond the 8th grade. So I was done with school at age 14. For the next 2 years I spent my time reading books when I should have been helping my Mom with the cleaning and dishes and gardening and lawncare and baking and laundry. Of course when she caught me reading when I had instructions for doing other things the consequences were never pleasant.
I am a spring baby so the summer after I turned 16 I decided to pursue a career in teaching. I was almost immediately called upon by several schools looking for teachers. I accepted a position at a brand new school as the 5th - 8th grade teacher. I would be teaching students who were just a year or so younger than I was. The Amish schools only have 2 teachers and each one has 4 grades and they can be divided any way the 2 teachers choose to divide them, but the most traditional way is 1st - 4th in one room and 5th - 8th in the other room. I absolutely loved school so I was very excited about this opportunity, but I was also scared to death at first. I did not know any of my students as this school was located in a different part of the community. It was located very close to my maternal grandparents whom I stayed with from time to time during my 3 year stint at Gates Hill School. My co-teacher was someone who had been teaching for several years already and her and I became great friends even after our 3 year stint of teaching together. I still try to go see her whenever I get the chance to go home. It was time for me to move on so I went to teach at another school closer to my home. I was there for 1 year as the 5th - 8th grade teacher again. From there I went to the school in the district next to my home district and I taught at Scout Ridge School for the final 3 years of my teaching career. While at my final position I taught 1st, 6th, 7th, & 8th one year, 1st, 2nd, 7th, & 8th another year, and 3rd, 4th, 7th, & 8th my final year. I ended up teaching every grade during my 7 year teaching career. I decided after 7 years I needed a break from teaching. I was going to take a year off and then I would consider going back to teaching. I did not expect the radical change God would bring into my life that year. I will write about this another time.
During my teaching I absolutely loved to teach and it is obvious God has given me a gift for teaching. There were many challenges, especially when it came to dealing with certain parents, but overall I would say it was a very fulfilling experience. One I look back on with many fond memories. I still think about my many students and I pray for them. I pray that they will first and foremost come to a saving knowledge of our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ and then I pray their lives would be blessed and that their dreams would come true. I pray that above all they will find truth and freedom. The Bible says "we shall know the truth and the truth shall set us free." Praise God for truth and for freedom!!
I have fond memories of dodge ball games when the weather would not allow us to go outside and play. We would play ping pong, dodge ball, card games, & board games during the winter months. At times we would go outside at recess and play in the snow, but most of the time we would play indoors. In the fall and the spring there would be games of volleyball, softball, prisoner's base, kick the can, and many other running games as well.
Our subjects for the younger ones are Reading, Phonics, Math, English, Writing, and German Phonics. For the older ones there was Reading, Vocabulary, Math, English, Writing, Spelling, Geography, German Phonics, Writing, Spelling & Reading. Most of the curriculum was made especially for the Amish schools with the exception of the Geography and in 8th grade the History books.
There is one other memory that I am glad it is only a memory. The outhouses! There were no indoor bathrooms at our schools. There were only outhouses. We also had a furnace that had to be stoked and logs on the fire at all times and the teachers had to take care of that or else everyone would be cold and find it impossible to study. That is a brief overview of my years as a schoolteacher............BK
I am a spring baby so the summer after I turned 16 I decided to pursue a career in teaching. I was almost immediately called upon by several schools looking for teachers. I accepted a position at a brand new school as the 5th - 8th grade teacher. I would be teaching students who were just a year or so younger than I was. The Amish schools only have 2 teachers and each one has 4 grades and they can be divided any way the 2 teachers choose to divide them, but the most traditional way is 1st - 4th in one room and 5th - 8th in the other room. I absolutely loved school so I was very excited about this opportunity, but I was also scared to death at first. I did not know any of my students as this school was located in a different part of the community. It was located very close to my maternal grandparents whom I stayed with from time to time during my 3 year stint at Gates Hill School. My co-teacher was someone who had been teaching for several years already and her and I became great friends even after our 3 year stint of teaching together. I still try to go see her whenever I get the chance to go home. It was time for me to move on so I went to teach at another school closer to my home. I was there for 1 year as the 5th - 8th grade teacher again. From there I went to the school in the district next to my home district and I taught at Scout Ridge School for the final 3 years of my teaching career. While at my final position I taught 1st, 6th, 7th, & 8th one year, 1st, 2nd, 7th, & 8th another year, and 3rd, 4th, 7th, & 8th my final year. I ended up teaching every grade during my 7 year teaching career. I decided after 7 years I needed a break from teaching. I was going to take a year off and then I would consider going back to teaching. I did not expect the radical change God would bring into my life that year. I will write about this another time.
During my teaching I absolutely loved to teach and it is obvious God has given me a gift for teaching. There were many challenges, especially when it came to dealing with certain parents, but overall I would say it was a very fulfilling experience. One I look back on with many fond memories. I still think about my many students and I pray for them. I pray that they will first and foremost come to a saving knowledge of our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ and then I pray their lives would be blessed and that their dreams would come true. I pray that above all they will find truth and freedom. The Bible says "we shall know the truth and the truth shall set us free." Praise God for truth and for freedom!!
I have fond memories of dodge ball games when the weather would not allow us to go outside and play. We would play ping pong, dodge ball, card games, & board games during the winter months. At times we would go outside at recess and play in the snow, but most of the time we would play indoors. In the fall and the spring there would be games of volleyball, softball, prisoner's base, kick the can, and many other running games as well.
Our subjects for the younger ones are Reading, Phonics, Math, English, Writing, and German Phonics. For the older ones there was Reading, Vocabulary, Math, English, Writing, Spelling, Geography, German Phonics, Writing, Spelling & Reading. Most of the curriculum was made especially for the Amish schools with the exception of the Geography and in 8th grade the History books.
There is one other memory that I am glad it is only a memory. The outhouses! There were no indoor bathrooms at our schools. There were only outhouses. We also had a furnace that had to be stoked and logs on the fire at all times and the teachers had to take care of that or else everyone would be cold and find it impossible to study. That is a brief overview of my years as a schoolteacher............BK
Saturday, June 28, 2008
The Outsiders
Did any of you see the show on ABC Primetime last Tuesday called "The Outsiders"? I am not sure what you thought about the show, but when I got done watching it I felt extremely sad and I felt this for so many reasons. First about the extreme blindness of the elders and their quiet resolve to the belief they have no other choice than to be Amish. The acceptance of the elders that their young people rebel against the rules of the church during a certain period before making the commitment to the church. After all they did things like this before they committed to the church when they were young so that makes it OK for the young people of today the same. He even had a car when he was young. When you look at the ways the young people from about age 15 or 16 until they actually decide to return and join and become a member of the church rebel, it is not just minor things. There is under age drinking, fornication, and in the case of Danny Troyer even hate crimes. Hate crimes and he said, "We just wanted to have some fun." "FUN?!" What has happened in a young man's life that would cause him to call burning someone's property fun? One thing about the show I believe it was more accurate than most documentaries that have been done about the Amish and I give ABC a lot of credit for this. So many times if they actually talk to the Amish about something, they are presented with the ideal world of what the Amish are and how they live. Most of the time this varies quite drastically from the truth, because they never share the whole story. The reason I think I was so sad is because these young people are seeking freedom, but the problem is they have no idea what they are seeking freedom from. They want to be free to be their own person, they want to be free to be able to have a dream, so many of them have no idea why music, something they love so much can be so wrong, they want to free to listen to their music, watch TV, go to sports events such as football games, baseball games, or rodeos. They want to be free to go to the movies. Now most of us reading this would take every last one of these things for granted, but all of this is forbidden according to the Amish rules and way of thinking. They want to be free to have a life to be able to use their God-given talents and see their dreams fulfilled. So why then when they leave do they turn to drinking and partying and fornication and even destruction of property? I believe because by the time they have reached age 15 and 16 they have heard nothing but things they cannot do and they don't care anymore and this is the way it manifests itself. This is what young people among the Amish have done for years and years even back to the days of our parents and grandparents. So even those who really want to do right in the sight of God just don't care anymore and there is so much that doesn't make sense anyway so why bother even trying to figure out what is right and what is wrong. The really sad thing for me was to see Lena's idea of freedom. She thinks being able to have her boyfriend, partying, and going wild is freedom. They go from one form of bondage to another form of bondage, but they don't understand that yet. (One of the reasons for my book - My Quilt of Many Stories) I want to be able to encourage all people who come from strict religions where there are rules even the preachers and the priests can't explain where they come from in the Bible. It is the way it has always been so it must be right and besides we don't question the rules we just continue to believe them. It is what has been passed down from our elders and if it was good enough for them it is good enough for us. I want people to realize Jesus came so we could have a relationship with our Father in heaven. It is only through Jesus Christ that we will ever be able to come to the Father, but that relationship with our Father is for now while we are here on this earth not just for when we get to heaven, which by Amish standards you can only hope to get to anyway. Why then are we surprised when young people want to rebel against the rules that tell them they can't have things like music and they can't go places like amusement parks and sports events and there are only certain professions you can be a part of. You cannot have a profession that would require high school or college because they are not allowed to attend high school and obviously college would then be out of the question. Basically by the time I was 18 and definitely by the time I was 20, I felt it was hopeless. There was no way I was going to be able to be good enough to get to heaven and then.................you will just have to keep coming back to find out what happens. :) Unless something else comes along that catches my attention I will be writing about my time as a school teacher in the Amish schools next time I visit with you all.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Bigger & Better
So after less than 2 years on my great uncle's farm my father wanted to move on to bigger and better. We moved to a very large dairy farm where for the next 8 years with the exception of one year when we lived with my grandparents we worked for an Englishman who owned 2 farms. On one of the farms we just crop farmed and on the other one we also had a large herd of dairy cows. So as a young girl I would have to get up and go out to the barn to feed animals and sometimes help milk the cows before running to change and head off for the 15 - 20 minute walk to school. School was from 8:45 AM until 3:15 PM. When I got home I would have to change and then head out to the barn to start the chores all over again. Sometimes my Mom would ask me to stay in the house and help with dinner preparations. Either way there was never time for play! Thank God we never had homework unless we had missed school and needed to catch up. Winter time there were extra chores like bringing wood from the wood pile to the house as this is what we used for heat. In the summer time there were extra things we had to do like mow the grass, weed the garden, help put the hay up, and canning. I did say bigger and BETTER, right? The most important and best thing about moving to the bigger farm was INDOOR PLUMBING!! Although we had an outhouse on our new farm we did also have indoor plumbing which meant we could have a shower! At the previous place we had to haul the water inside, heat the water in a huge cooker, and then take a bath in the metal bathtub in the basement. No wonder some Amish people only take a bath once a week, and in the winter time there are some who only bathe once every 2 weeks for church and take sponge baths in between........gross! Huh?! Don't think I'm kidding, because I am not! This did not just happen 25 years ago when I was a young girl, it still happens today!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Humble Beginnings
I was the second child born to my parents and then grew up the oldest child. Their first child, a son died at 15 months old before I was born. I was followed by 3 more sons and 1 more daughter. My parents had what many Amish people of that generation thought, a small family. My father worked in construction until I was 7 years old and then we moved to a farm owned by my great uncle and great aunt. On this farm we did everything the way they did it in the pioneer days. Milked the cows by hand, skimmed the cream off before sending the other milk off to be made into cheese at the local cheese factory. We then churned the cream to make our own butter. Water was brought into the house from a pump outside the back door and yes, you guessed it, the bathroom was located about 50 - 100 paces from the back door of the house. Yes, it gets very cold in northeastern Ohio in the winter time and yes, we did have to use the outdoor bathroom (otherwise known as an outhouse) when it was 5 below zero outside. We raised our own chickens not just for the eggs they gave us, but also for the chicken we would eat. We also raised our own pork and of course there was always a cow or two that provided us with all the beef we needed for our growing family. 3 boys can eat a lot of food when they are in the process of growing from a few feet to over six feet in about 10 or 12 years. Mowing grass in the summer time was always a tiring chore. Keep in mind we did not live in the suburbs of any metro area so the yard was not the little 10 mow job many people have today. We lived in the country where the closest grocery store was between 5 & 10 miles away. That means a really huge yard to be mowed all with a push mower and no there was no power except for the power in your own 2 arms. So for a 4th grade girl it could sometimes take 2 days to mow all of the grass.
OK, enough for this time. More reflections coming soon!! Please feel free to share your comments or experiences or questions.
OK, enough for this time. More reflections coming soon!! Please feel free to share your comments or experiences or questions.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
I am excited about the creation of my blog. I hope it will be both informative for you as well as intriguing. I am looking forward to sharing my reflections of my heritage growing up Amish in northeastern Ohio, as well as answering questions you may have about the Amish. In addition feel free to post your own reflections about your time or experience with the Amish.
Sincerely, Barbara Kay
Sincerely, Barbara Kay
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